Since my hemoglobin is so dangerously low my doctor was shocked that I was even standing without fainting. My skin is always white as a ghost and it's currently the whitest it's ever been. I HATE being this sick! It's so frustrating and there's nothing I can do which is the worst part. I can handle the bathroom trips, the arthritis, the headaches, the sleeping problems, the stomach pains and all the other symptoms that come along with Crohn's but low blood levels seem to be my "kryptonite".
Having such low blood levels takes SO MUCH out of me. I'm extremely tired which is normal with people with Crohn's but this kind of fatigue is on a totally different level. I have been out of work for the past 15 days because my doctor told me that I shouldn't return to work until my blood levels get back to somewhat normal. He gave me a note saying "return to work to be determined".
So today as I'm writing this I'm sitting in the infusion center at the hospital getting an iron infusion. Yes another stupid IV! That makes 2 in less than 3 days. NOT FUN!
This isn't my first go around with iron infusions. A couple years ago I was a pretty regular patient here, I would get an infusion every 2 weeks for 3 months. So this is nothing new to me but that doesn't make it any more fun for me to be here again. If anything it makes me that much more annoyed. As I sit here listening to the bag of iron drip I just think when am I going to be normal? When will there be a cure? When will I get to be genuinely happy again? I just want to sleep ALL THE TIME!
But then I think....it could be worse, it could always be worse. So I try and stay as positive as I can and put on my best smile. I keep telling myself I can get through this and I'll feel better soon. I am strong enough to handle this. I'm going on 9 years with this disease and I don't plan on giving up anytime soon.
On a positive note, I did get a PB&J sandwich, orange sherbet and a Pepsi while getting this infusion. All of which were very good, that's a miracle because hospital food always SUCKS! But I don't think it's possible to screw up a PB&J, pre-made sherbet or canned Pepsi! Lol
It's been a rough day and as many of you with Crohn's/Colitis know there have been plenty of these days in our past and there are many more of these days to come. Keep on fighting and stay strong! One day....one day....
Peace out people,